Home Thoughts

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I’m keen on lists but am well aware that this divides people – many of my friends and family avoid them at all costs. But for me it’s a love affair. I even wrote a book about a list. And I particularly like ranking things—I just can’t seem to help it. For years my favourite book and favourite film have been unchanged. There’s something about knowing that Remains of the Day and Cinema Paradiso are important to me that helps define who I am. The Great Gatsby and Don’t Look Now are my second-favourite book and film; 101 Dalmatians and The Shawshank Redemption come in at number three, and Far From the Madding Crowd and The Railway Children are at number four.  I could go on…but there’s a strong chance that you’re not as keen on rankings as me, so I’ll stop there.

“Which do you prefer?” I asked my husband when we first met – “Beatles or Stones?” He looked mystified and said “Can I have both?” He’s of the non-ranking persuasion.

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I’m aware that I might take my obsession too far and for years have even been able to say what my favourite word is. For a long time it was ‘elastic’. I just loved how it sounded so stretchy. Then I moved on to something altogether more heart-warming—‘kitten’. That’s been my favourite word for quite some time now. Then the other day I read something that the Little House on the Prairie author, Laura Ingalls Wilder once said: “Home is the nicest word there is”.

I’ve been thinking about home a lot over the past few weeks as I’ve just moved house—again. This will be my seventh home in twelve years. The moves have been triggered by changing circumstances—financial ruin, divorce and then a different life in a new city. But I’d like to feel settled now—at last. The dictionary definition of ‘home’ is ‘the place where one lives’. But it’s so much more than that. I was watching a David Attenborough documentary the other day – one of my treats – and he said in relation to animals that a home is somewhere to feel safe and comfortable.

The Danish art of ‘hygge’ has been in the media recently and has inspired a number of books. It’s not about wealth or possessions but it’s about making life good in simple ways. We’ll each have our own version of this. For me it’s hot porridge with maple syrup and cinnamon, fragrant coffee in the morning, candles, fresh flowers, rose-scented bath oil, and reading a good book with a soft blanket, open fire and ideally a piece of fruit cake on a pretty china plate.

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Our new home has been completely renovated and is all ready for some hygge. The builders have been working on it for six months. There’s a new kitchen, French windows in the bedroom and it’s freshly painted throughout. It feels light and bright and my heart gives a skip each time I come back to it. It’s also wonderfully clean.

In recent years life has felt overwhelming at times so that day-to-day housekeeping has been an unwelcome drudgery. I’ve much preferred the treats. Sometimes I’ve felt like it’s less effort to move house than to clean it. The grime and the dirt seem to get everywhere in a most tiresome way. And what is this dust that settles on every surface? It’s popularly believed that dust is predominantly dead human cells but I read recently that most of these go down the plughole when we wash. Instead it’s more about pollen, the husks of insects, pet hair, soil, tiny particles from outer space, and pretty much anything else that is very, very small.

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This week, my sister-in-law has been visiting from Australia. We asked what she would particularly like to see and she said, “An English castle and a pub.” So on Tuesday we had lunch in a proper English pub, sitting outside in the thin autumn sunshine and then we went on to a nearby National Trust property, Hinton Ampner. It’s not quite a castle, but it is a beautiful example of a classic English home. I liked the gentleman’s bedroom—and especially the breakfast tray laid out with a boiled egg, fine china, silver cutlery and a folded linen napkin. I imagined breakfasting there whilst gazing out over the walled gardens and Hampshire meadows. The seductive charm of this hygge fantasy even overrode my aversion to boiled eggs.

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Photo: Chris Gunns

Some areas of the house were inaccessible as it was having its annual deep clean. We peered through doorways into rooms where odd-shaped furniture sat shrouded in white cloth. With so many treasures the cleaning has to be done in a very precise and ordered way. Everything is inspected carefully and particular attention is paid to any insects that might cause damage. Then the housekeepers get to work on the dusting using hogs hair brushes. Unlike normal hair, hogs hair has multiple split ends which give it plenty of spring so that it’s gentle but firm on delicate, creviced surfaces.

I looked at the information boards with interest. Perhaps this is what I need in my new house—a hogs hair brush and an annual deep clean. That way the pain could be concentrated into a few days. I might even be convinced that it’s easier to clean than to move. I do hope so as I’d like to stay here for the forseeable future.

Home—it really is the nicest of words.

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12 thoughts on “Home Thoughts

  1. ‘Sparkle’ has been mine since I was little. And it neatly fits both the favourite personality trait and the joys of a super-clean Home…

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  2. I’m so glad your new house is at last finished and looking lovely. Bonnie told me the other day that Frank is back home for the most part, but needs loads of nursing and is becoming more and more confused. I’m so sorry on every level – not least because it puts a big strain on both of you just when you should be directing your energies into starting your new life together – and poor Frank, it can’t be much fun for him either. I’m glad your sister in law is over to relieve the pressure! Having read your piece, I realise I am NOT a list person. I can’t even think of a favourite word – how sad is that. But ‘home’ is definitely an excellent word for you. Love Gimma

    >

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  3. Splendid post, thank you! Indeed, ‘splendid’ is one of my favourite words: I like its feel and connotations, not to mention all those consonants together.

    I’m now looking into hygge!

    Thank you for another enjoyable post.

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  4. I thought I had left a message-about “words”-but it appears not 😉
    Trying again–Home is my favourite word-hope your new one will be a very happy one.
    Hugs margaretx

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  5. I had a word in mind as soon as I read this super post (they all inspire), so I waited to see if the test of time would change my word. It hasn’t. Kindness, that’s my word. A gentle word, undemanding, full of generosity and without payback which the word “love” can impose. I nestle into it, think of my mother, try to see it in others and do a little every day.

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